“…that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

Since time is short and opportunities are few, we need to point our focus – our energy towards important things.  But, how do we? 

Our role awareness is certainly expert to the things that surround us, the roles we play, and those things we can find joy and value in the way we spend our time. 

Inside our days we pursue our dreams, while the demands of the day pull us in different directions.  This causes a constant struggle between our dreams and our reality. Our dreams focus on those things we want to do; reality drives the things we have to do.

“I want to spend some time with my children, but I have to get this done.”, “I want to play golf today, but I have to work.”, “I want to live a healthy lifestyle, but I don’t have the time.”

Somewhere between our dreams and reality sit the things that are important - to You. What makes you feel - happy – fulfilled – successful – valued.

No one, of course, has a better perspective than you as to what is important to You.  This is your world, and you are its center. 

Reality can negatively impact our ability to reach our dreams. When we experience challenges at work, in our relationships, in our finances, we tend to want to break free or escape.

Og Mandino shares a metaphor in his book “The Greatest Salesman in the World”, that can help us better understand our options when faced with difficult life experiences.

In Scroll VIII: Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold, he writes; “I am liken to a grain of wheat which faces one of three futures. The wheat can be placed in a sack and dumped in a stall until it is fed to swine. Or, it can be ground to flour and made into bread (and devoured by the will of others). Or, it can be placed in the earth and allowed to grow until its golden head divides and produces a thousand grains from the one.”

If we want to focus on growing versus escaping, what must we do?

In Scroll VIII Og gives clarity to this process; “To grow and multiply it is necessary to plant the wheat grain in the darkness of the earth and my failures, my despairs, my ignorance, and my abilities are the darkness in which I have been planted in order to ripen. Now, like the wheat grain which will sprout and blossom only if it is nurtured with rain and sun and warm winds, I too must nurture my body and mind to fulfill my dreams. But to grow to full stature the wheat must wait on the whims of nature. I need not wait for I have the power to choose my own destiny. Am I not more than a grain of wheat? Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold.”

At the conclusion of this Scroll VIII, Og explains the ultimate reward for paying the necessary price to overcome our challenges; “One grain of wheat when multiplied a hundredfold will produce a hundred stalks. Multiply these a hundredfold, ten times, and they will feed all the cities of the earth.”

Want to live a better more joyful life? Stop avoiding and escaping reality. Step out of your comfort zone. Start engaging and creating the life you want to live.

Next week we’ll explore how to “Engage & Create” and turn your dreams into reality.

TO YOUR SUCCESS

Encouragement is giving hope or promise.

Truth - Acceptance - Hope - Promise - what powerful words!

Affirming and encouraging words are so simple to say, but they can change the course of a person’s life. Many successful people reminiscence about a teacher in elementary or high school who said to them: “You could really become great if you try.” Many successful athletes remember a coach who said to them: “You have what it takes to be a champion.” How many times have you heard successful musicians, artists, and actors attribute their proficiency to a teacher or mentor who said to them: “You have remarkable talent.”

A classic study showed that the elementary school children who get the highest grades are not those with the highest IQ, but, rather those with the highest self-esteem. And our self-esteem, as we all know, derives in large part from at least one person who esteemed us and let us know it. Encouragement can change a life.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. –Mother Teresa

So, how do you learn the art of encouragement?  These 7 principles can change your life.

The 7 Principles of Affirmation

• Look For the Good In Others - Be open and accepting of others. Have a deep profound respect for their unique irreplaceable value. Approach people with positive judgment (Acceptance).
• See It/Say It - Find the good in others, then verbalize it. Give only sincere, truthful encouragement. “You’re beautiful,” said to a girl could be brushed off as a false compliment. Let your encouragement bring focus on their real intrinsic value. Be generous with encouraging words, especially to your family members. Don’t worry about telling your children too often what their strong points are. Young children form their self-definition based on their parents’ assessment of them. “You’re so kind and generous” will produce kind and generous children. Tell your spouse every day how wonderful/thoughtful/hard-working/or responsible he or she is.
• Listen for Doors - Listen for clues - verbal hints about what someone is thinking or experiencing. These are the doors into someone’s world. No matter how simple, complex, caustic, hurtful or even rhetorical doors are actually invitations into another person’s world. These “doors” can be simple statements like, “I’m so tired”, ”Honey, let’s get away”, “you never listen to me”, or “Why would you ever agree to do that”?. Don’t underestimate how much family, friends and co-workers need to hear encouraging words. Even someone who projects an image of self-assurance undoubtedly has bad days, disappointments, and personal challenges. Listening for doors gives you a heightened awareness of people and their situations
• Step Into Their World - Once you hear a door or knock on a door by taking a personal interest in them, step into their world. This can be accomplished by a simple phrase such as “Tell me more about that”. Whatever you say, it should convey a clear message that you are truly interested in what they are thinking. You are not here to judge them or fix them, just to listen. You truly want to know what they are thinking or experiencing right now. Warning; we really have to care enough about others to listen for a door then make the conscious effort to step into their world. Nothing can undermine intrinsic validation like pretending we care when we don’t. Love and encouragement cannot be faked.
• Stay in Their World - Staying in their world requires awareness and practice. The primary objective here is for the other person to know that you know where they are and that you don’t need to fix them. This creates a safe place that allows them to lower their walls of defense.
• Timing - As you step deeper into someone’s world you’ll experience rich and deeper connections. You will also discover their problems, challenges, hopes and dreams. So, what do you do next?  Ask yourself if they are looking for help or just need someone to talk to about it. If you feel they are ready and able to hear your ideas and opinions move to the next principle.
• Invite Them Into Your World - This can be as easy as saying “I don’t know if what I am doing (or thinking) will help you with (name the problem discovered) but there is a good chance it will. Would you be willing to let me give you the highlights of how it might help?

Our most valuable possessions are those which can be shared without lessening; those which when shared, multiply. Our least valuable possessions are those which, when divided, are diminished. –William H. Danforth

Encouraging Words - Your Greatest Asset

Encouraging words are available to you at all times, in all places, under all circumstances. Encouraging words are lighter than a laptop, more portable than a credit card. They can never be lost, stolen, or left at home. They cost you nothing. No matter how bad your financial situation is you can still give them lavishly. Encouraging are always in an unlimited supply. There are no adverse side effects though they are habit forming. Encouragement yields a high rate of return.

A pebble dropped into a pool extends in an ever widening circle, I hope this message has the same effect.